Reversing the Downward Spiral of Depression
A downward spiral can be mentally exhausting, disrupt your daily life, and affect the people around you. However, it doesn’t have to be this way.
It might seem like a downward spiral just comes out of nowhere, but actually, there are warning signs that we can look for when it happens.
I’ll walk you through some of the common warning signs and how to look out for your own.
We will discuss different strategies that can help you reverse that downward spiral before it gets out of control.
What is a Downward Spiral
A downward spiral is defined as a situation with a series of negative thoughts, emotions, and actions that continuously feeds back into itself, causing the situation to become progressively worse.
This is commonly used to describe a person’s depressive state which becomes difficult to control leading to the negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors getting worse very quickly.
Factors that Cause a Downward Spiral
Although many factors can contribute to your depression. Three main factors lead to a risk of a depressive downward spiral:
Feeling of Loss
Suppressed Emotions
Shame and Guilt
1. Feeling of Loss
You may experience a loss when you are feeling grief when deprived of someone or something of value. There are five main types of loss that you could experience:
Necessary Loss: Losses that are replaced by something different or better. Such as a child leaving home to go to college.
Actual Loss: Losses of someone or something of value that you can no longer touch, hear, or see. This could be the death of a family member or pet, theft, loss of work, deterioration, or destruction.
Perceived Loss: Is internal and identified only by the person experiencing it. Rejection from a friend creates a loss of confidence or change of status in a social group.
Maturational Loss: Losses from going through life from a normal developmental process. A stay-at-home mom may feel like she is getting old and missing out on her career, traveling, or just having fun.
Situational Loss: Loss occurring from unpredictable life events that usually create other losses. Divorce creates a loss of a spouse, home, financial assistance, less time with children, and so on.
2. Suppressed Emotions
After a loss, you begin to experience negative feelings and emotions. You start thinking, “I don’t want to feel this way, I can’t let people see me like this, I don’t want others to think I am weak”.
So instead of letting yourself feel, you just push those feelings out of your mind. Some of the ways you might do this are:
exercising more than usual
spending too much time on social media
working long hours
neglecting your relationships
avoiding social engagements
This is known as suppressing emotions. It is an emotion regulation strategy many people use when they don't have the capacity to deal with them directly.
If used from time to time, it doesn’t have any significant negative consequences. But if you are pushing your emotions away all the time, it can lead to serious mental health issues later.
3. Guilt and Shame
Guilt is the feeling you get when you did something wrong or perceived you did something wrong. It is feeling remorse or responsibility for your behavior. You start to think, “I should not behave like this.”
Shame on the other hand is the feeling you get when the way you identify yourself is wrong. When you feel disappointed or humiliated about the way you are, not necessarily what you did. You begin to think, “I should not be like this.”
“We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.”
When we feel guilt or shame we are just punishing ourselves. This creates a continuous loop which contributes to the downward spiral.
How to Recognize a Downward Spiral of Depression
Being stuck in a spiraling depression can be emotionally exhausting. It can be difficult to break out of or stop the negative spiral if you don’t recognize it is happening in the first place.
I can certainly attest to this. Thankfully, there are ways to recognize what is happening and be more prepared.
Triggers
Triggers are a stimulus or condition that prompts a recurrence of depression. Triggers however are not the cause of a person’s depression.
Those who have lived through one depressive episode are 50% more likely to experience a second episode. The likelihood of relapses keeps going up after that.
Some examples of common depression triggers:
Stress: Pressure from school or work can be overwhelming, also financial problems tend to increase that stress significantly
Physical Illness or Injury: An injury that prevents mobility or chronic illnesses can trigger a depression relapse
Relationship Difficulties: Relationships with your partner or family members can cause a lot of stress when problems occur
Substance Abuse: Many substances create a stimulant and depressive effect while a relapse from a substance addiction can trigger a sharp downward spiral
Trauma, Grief, or Loss: Grief or loss can be overwhelming due to the unexpected emotions you may experience
Seasonal Changes: The shift from longer sunny days in the summer to shorter darker days in winter can disturb your circadian rhythm and induce depressive-like symptoms
Triggers can be difficult to recognize because when they happen you are usually overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions.
One of the simplest ways to recognize your triggers is to journal after each time you experience a depressive episode.
Journal about your thoughts, what you are feeling, what you were doing or thinking about prior, and anything else you may be experiencing.
This will help build awareness of your triggers so you can pay more attention to them specifically when you begin to feel depressed.
Early Warning Signs
Triggers may not always be evident or easy to recognize. It can be difficult to recognize your triggers even if you are aware of them. But if you are not familiar with your triggers, it can be even more challenging to identify them.
Early warning signs can be more noticeable when you don’t recognize a trigger. Early warning signs are as simple as feeling tired, dreading going back to work, or overwhelmed by stress.
Here are some common warning signs you’re headed towards a burnout:
difficulty concentrating or focusing
indecisions during your daily life
always feeling tired or fatigued
social withdrawal or loss of interest in activities
dreading going back to work after a vacation
irritability
negative self-talk
chronic stress
altered sleeping patterns
neglecting your self-care routine
Warning signs are just our body’s way to tell us something is not quite right. Everyone’s body will react in different ways.
The window of tolerance is the optimal zone that allows you to deal with stress life will throw at you. When you leave your WOT your body reacts in fight, flight, or freeze responses.
I have put together a worksheet to help you to identify how your own body responds and the warning signs you may experience when you leave your window of tolerance.
Reversing the Downward Spiral
Now that you are able to recognize when a downward spiral occurs, you can take action when you need to. So what exactly should you do when you experience a downward spiral?
Let’s make a plan that suits your specific needs. Making a plan helps you be prepared for when a downward spiral occurs.
How to Break Out of a Depression Cycle
What works for others may not always work for you. Decide what you think will work best for you and your needs.
1. Emergency Relief Kit: An emergency relief kit is a collection of physical objects, reminders, or activities to help you remain calm and alleviate some symptoms.
It is small and personalized to your needs so have it ready when you most need it. Some common items that are helpful to include are:
essential oils
journal
healthy snack
stress ball
prewritten note or letter
2. Self-Care Activities: Self-care activities can include things that are fun or you enjoy doing such as hobbies or fitness activities. Pick engaging activities that promote physical, mental, and social wellness.
Think of activities you enjoy doing yourself and ones that you enjoy doing with friends and family. Make a list to have ready for when you need it. Here are some examples:
read a book
stay active (going for a walk, bike ride, or run)
watch a movie or tv show
write a journal entry
learn a new hobby such as cooking, painting, or crafts
3. Increase Your Happiness Levels: There are four happiness chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins) known as DOSE. Each happiness chemical has a job to do and increases your happiness levels.
There are activities you can do that naturally increase the happiness chemicals. This can be helpful when you feel like your depression is spiraling. These happiness chemicals can have a direct impact and are easy to do.
Some of the activities you can try are:
meditating
cold showers
getting a massage
socializing
playing with a pet
Get the happiness chemicals infographic and start increasing your happiness levels today.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you begin to spiral, negative thoughts are usually at its core. These automatic negative thoughts distort your perception of reality and your thoughts begin to spiral negatively out of control.
Here are some examples of negative distortions you may experience:
the world is always against you
thinking the worst of every situation
blaming everything wrong on yourself
negatively labeling yourself
You can challenge these negative thoughts by evaluating facts, modifying our internal dialogue, and refuting negative thoughts. Try reframing your negative thoughts with this worksheet.
5. Positive Self-Talk: Self-talk is the internal dialogue you have about yourself. It is a mix of conscious and unconscious beliefs that have a significant influence on your thoughts and emotions. Positive self-talk is a strategy that focuses on:
Identifying negative self-talk traps
Utilizing positive affirmations
Checking-in with your emotions
Building healthy boundaries
Positive self-talk can help reduce stress, boost confidence and resilience, and improve your overall mental wellbeing.
Here are a few examples of positive self-talk you can try:
this makes me unique…
I feel strong when…
this week I accomplished…
I had fun when…
I accept myself for…
I am relaxed when…
a quality I am proud of is…
today I am grateful for…
I look forward to…
I did my best to overcome…
6. Journaling: Writing out what you are feeling enables you to process your thoughts and emotions in a healthy way. Having an outlet for that mental clutter will bring clarity and focus to your mind.
Journaling is a great tool to help calm you down when you experience a depressive spiral and helps you realize that your negative thoughts aren’t likely to occur.
7. Reach Out for Support: Have a list of people you can contact. This should include close friends and family.
The friends and family you choose should be people who give you a feeling of trust and safety. This will make you feel comfortable and be more willing to share what you are going through.
It is also important to include phone numbers of your local crisis/mental health hotlines. If the other activities above are still not helping, calling the mental health hotlines can be your plan to get more support.
8. Have Others Check-In on You: Help others understand your struggles beforehand. Any background information can help such as what happens to you, what kind of thoughts do you have, and how do you feel when it happens.
This will help them understand your needs and be able to check-in with you from time to time or when they see something isn’t quite right.
A Slip Isn’t Always a Relapse
Our mental wellness is constantly fluctuating. There is no such thing as always being mentally well. We will go through ups and downs throughout our lives.
It is important to recognize that one bad day doesn’t mean you are having a relapse. It’s okay to take a day off and time to yourself if you are not feeling like yourself.
Take a Proactive Approach
Don’t wait for a downward spiral to occur before you start taking action. Be proactive and practice self-care as part of your daily routine. This will help reduce the likelihood a relapse will happen.
Some of the activities that reverse the downward spiral can also be used to take that proactive approach. They help build resilience, process thoughts and emotions, and improve your overall mental wellness.
Here are some examples of ways you can take a proactive approach and avoid burnout:
practice self-care activities
take regular breaks to avoid overwhelming yourself
engage in activities that improve the happiness chemicals
journaling about both positive and negative thoughts/emotions
reward yourself to keep you motivated
use positive self-talk
spend time unplugged from your devices to help you relax and improve sleep patterns
have a support network and check-in on each other regularly
take care of all three aspects of health (physical, mental, and social)